Prayers for Men

I found this on a blog the other day (fast pray blog) and thought it was interesting. I believe we have a real need for godly men in the world, and it is important to pray for the men in our lives to step up the the challenge and be leaders. The women who write and read this blog fast every Monday and pray for the men in their lives. I'm considering doing the same, but for now I'm just going to take some time to read over and answer these questions. My plan is to do this privately, but I might post my answers later. I thought I'd post these questions just in case anyone else wants to read take some time and pray over them as well. Enjoy!

~Christy

What are my honest thoughts are about men and power?  What symbolizes power to me?  What is real power?   

Pray for the men you know to gain deeper relational power.

What might it feel like to be wanted/desired “without fear” by a man?  

Pray for the men you know to be set free to desire without hesitancy.  

Pray for the men you know to have the confidence that they have something to provide/offer a woman. 

What does a ‘healthy’ man look like in my experience?  

Pray for the men you know to be able to:

▪   connect,

▪   be present

▪   have good boundaries and be able to say ‘no,’

▪   be comfortable with their imperfections (and that of the women in their lives), and

▪   be able to grow up and be adult, able to treat women neither as mommies nor as children, but as equals.

Pray for the men you know to get healthy and show up as full people (even as, of course, we pray the same for ourselves as women).

Let’s take our energy around this topic and pour it back into our prayers before God!

Learning to Listen

As God has been dealing with me about pride, He has been showing me all the resources around me. Specifically, He has been showing me the importance of the people He has placed in my life. You see, I like to pretend that I know EVERYTHING. I've alway prided myself on my intellect, and I'm one to nod if you mention an author I've never heard of, or pretend that I know the historical context of the book of 1st Kings, even though I've never studied that book before. And it is extremely hard for me to admit to people that I don't know things, and I need their help and advice.

But let me tell you this: the second I started really seeking God's plan for my life, He started putting beautiful, older, wiser women in my path to help me discern truth.

The problem, of course, was that I needed to admit my shortcomings and ask for these women to help me. *insert a deep, anxious sigh here*

Last week, I went to Wednesday morning CRAVE at CCC, and the whole time I was consumed with thoughts of gratitude and feelings of joy. It was incredible to be in the room with godly women who were all there for the same purpose: to seek Christ. The Spirit is always present and tangible for me at CRAVE. There is something about the atmosphere that just clears my heart and mind of all the crap that I carry around all day, and I can just be. And as we shared what God told us during out quiet time, I was enthused (as always) to see that God was saying similar things to many of us as individuals. He was using our collaborative efforts to put some spiritual puzzle pieces together. And, per usual, we had a sweet prayer time before breaking off and going back to life in the trenches.

When it was over I didn't want to leave. I was enjoying the company of these women, and I wanted to soak up their presence and wisdom. Long story short, I ended up asking two of the women to meet with me about specific issues in my life, and it was quite a good decision. I just had to swallow my pride and ask for some guidance, which was rather scary!

Months ago, one lady mentioned something about hiding in God and being transparent but not being exposed. That concept stuck with me, but I couldn't remember the details, and I'd been waiting for months to talk to her. (Friends, it took me months to finally approach her about a recap... that's how silly I can be at times.) When I finally asked her to explain the concept to me again, her response was, "That sounds like a wonderful lunch conversation. We should get together sometime!"I wasn't even asking for a lunch date, but God rewarded me for finally listening to Him and following up on that topic of conversation (which I really needed to hear!)

In another conversation, a sweet lady mentioned some things about devotionals, and our discussion naturally turned to her love of giving one on one instruction in that area. I asked if she would be willing to meet with me and help me figure out how best to structure my quiet time. Her response was an excited yes, followed by a suggestion that we look at my personality type in order to figure out the best structure for my devotional time. (If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE learning about personality types, so this was thrilling).

Today, I had my meeting with lady number one, and it was so wonderful. We talked about hiding in God, AND we talked about devotions and quiet time. She encouraged me and gave me many useful tidbits of wisdom about many subjects. AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS ASK FOR HELP.

Next week, I'm meeting with lady number two, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for our time together.

It really is funny though, how God works. I'm learning to delight in the way He works. Something I read the other day talked about this concept. It talked about how we need to be thankful for and excited about the way God works (which means being thankful for the rough patches, dry spots, and painful places that He takes us). When I think about things like my silly pride, I do find God's take on things to be rather delightful. I have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom and help and friendship in the people around me. I am a part of an incredible church where the body of Christ is healthy and strong. If I really seek to learn about the Lord, I am not alone out in left field with a glove, a hat, a Bible and a highlighter. I have brothers and sisters who are willing to help me in any way that they can. But they DO have to know that I need help, and that means being brave, instead of proud, and asking for instruction.

God knows what that whole process does to my heart. He knows how humbling it is for me to ask for help and admit that I am wrong, or even just not sure, about something. And He blesses me greatly for obeying and seeking help and admitting my folly. It sure isn't the easy way, but it is the God way, and it is pretty awesome. His way just makes me giggle. And it makes me joyful. Because, my friends, He is so good. He knows everything. He is worthy of our praise and honor and glory.

I admit that I struggle to trust Him. I feel like hiding in Him will leave me out in the elements exposed and vulnerable, but this is not the case. Hiding in Him makes my life and thoughts and actions transparent. They must be transparent, for I cannot love others and protect myself from them at the same time. And when I am centered on God His will and His thoughts about me are what matter. Many times, if you hide in God He will protect you from the arrows of life. He puts up the God forcefield and offers you shelter and protection. At other times, He lets an arrow in, but there is always a purpose. He only asks that we stay there with Him--don't run away and hide in a cave. Don't guard our hearts by ourselves. Let Him do it. If we stay with Him, He will remove the arrows and heal the wounds, it will be quicker and more painless than the cave remedy (where sulking and licking wounds keeps them from healing).

He can do it all, and He wants to, but we have to let go of pride, and control, and our walls of protection. We have to give EVERYTHING to Him. We have to hide in Him, and be transparent without being exposed. And learning to do all that is hard, but the rewards are great. Praise Jesus for giving me a chance. Praise Jesus for helping me change. Praise Jesus for His provision and his shelter. Praise Christ, for He has risen, indeed. And isn't that still the one and only important thing? Christ is alive. He rose again after dying for me. And I pray that He continues to shape and mold my life into something that He can use for His glory.

Lord, help me to remin in you. Help me to abide in you and not seek anything other than your presence and will in my life. Continue to work on my pride and break me out of my hurts, habits, and hangups. Help me to delight in you AND help me to delight in your ways. Forgive me and love me and bless me. And help me to always remember the gift you have given me.

Your daughter,
Christy

Drowning in the waterfall, Drinking from the Fountain

Two and a half years ago I recommitted my life to Christ. It was the best decision I ever made, but that does not mean the going has been easy since then. Recently, I have been feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information that I feel I should know as a Christian. I’ve been struggling to figure out how best to study the Bible and have quiet time. I changed my schedule in order to spend my mornings with God, yet the cares of the day scream at me the entire time I’m trying to read or pray. I read a book of the Bible and think about how much I don’t understand about my savior and my faith. For much of the past few years, I’ve been drowning in the waterfall of Christianity. And while I believe my heart was in the right place, my focus has not been.

            My heart seeks devotion to Christ. I want to study everything. I want to understand the character of God. I want to understand His word. I want to understand doctrine and language and historical context. I want to feel God’s presence in my life. And I want to act upon the information I’m learning. I want to be radical. I want to be a missionary. I want to be a teacher. I want to go wherever he wants me and do whatever he wants me to do… but I want everything now, and it is too much.

It is easy to talk about quantity over quality when poking fun at CSU and some of their wonderful administrative decisions, but it is much harder to look at my own life and see the folly in my overloaded schedule and compulsion to always do more. For instance, reading and digesting a chapter of the Bible isn’t acceptable. I feel the need to read 5 or 10 or an entire book, and then I close the Bible and wonder what I’ve just read. I want the devotional skills of an 85-year-old rabbi when I’ve only even cared to read the Bible for the past 2 years. I’m a baby, and I need milk and rice cereal. It’s all I can handle. Anything else leaves me drowning in a waterfall… probably because I’m trying to blow up the dam that God’s put there for a reason.

So this morning as I was having my quiet time the Spirit showed me that I need to put on my spiritual glasses, and focus on the proper things: grace, hope, love, etc. My tendency is to read and note all of the verses that point out my weaknesses. I see the verses that talk about my depraved heart. I get the verses that discuss the “grievous way in me” (Psalm 139:24), but when I focus on my failures and shortcomings I feel that old, familiar feeling of drowning, again. My chest constricts and my heart cries out, “Yes, I know I’m terrible, God. But how do I change? What do I do? It feels hopeless. I’m like Paul. I do what I don’t intend to do… and never do what is right.” But, today, the Spirit made me focus on the second part of Psalm 139:24. “lead me in the way everlasting.”

David asks God to reveal David’s grievous ways to him, but he also EXPECTS for God to lead him away from depravity and towards God’s everlasting ways. And there is hope here. Hope and grace and love. David doesn’t stop to grovel and try to convince God to forgive him. He doesn’t whine and give into self-pity because he feels hopeless about the prospect of change. He just asks God to be in control of the entire process—revealing David’s shortcomings and leading David out of them.

And when I focus on letting God lead, everything feels less big. Less impossible. It really makes a lot of sense, you see, because God only gives me my water through a concentrated stream--a fountain. He shoots the appropriate amount of water out at me in a steady arch that my lips know how to handle. He never asked me to swim around in a waterfall and figure out how to take in everything all at once—that was my own idea. God gives us only what we can handle: good and bad. He only gives us trials that will help us grow, AND He only gives us revelations that we can understand and implement in our lives. What good would it be for him to overwhelm us with information if we can’t harness it all and turn it into action? 

Today, I'm thanking God for just enough. Just enough revelation to keep me moving towards him, but not enough to keep me weighted down in shame and grief over the depth of my depravity. God is good ALL the time. 

God, thank you for not giving me too many answers. Thank you for giving me only the answers and directions for today. 

Life as an M.A.T. Student

As I'm working towards my masters, I've been doing a series of technology projects for one of my classes. One of the final projects was creating a blog, but I have chosen to just add some links to this blog instead of creating another one. If you enjoy keeping up with me via blog, maybe you will actually enjoy seeing these projects too. Who knows?

While getting my masters, I've become conscious of many of the struggles in the education field. There are the normal complaints, such as standardized testing, principal problems, and such. But then there are new issues, like cyber bullying and utilizing technology to reach the next generation of students. I can't say that my personal theories about education have changed much, but I am certainly more knowledgeable about how to implement my vision. I know how to use a Bridge Photo Story to teach students about important historical events in their town. I know how to create a budget in order to purchase technology for the classroom. I know techniques to deal with cyber-bullies, and I know how to create a Trailer and Cooking Tutorial video as a new means of teaching. (I also got to play with iMovie and the smart board, among other things. So, hit me up if you need to know how to use your Mac.) I feel that I've been equipped with many tools for my future classroom, and I'm excited about testing them out in the years to come. I hope you enjoy looking at my projects. Who knows, maybe they will give you ideas for your own classroom!

~Christy