It is March 18th, and God is still blessing me with His perfect joy. My life isn't quite like it was in January (where every little thing that happened overflowed my heart with joy) but it is still there. He is still here. I'm on month five of total surrender to God, and although my problems haven't magically gone away, life is sweet.
I don't really have a specific thing to say. I just feel the need to document what God is doing in my life.
I just spent my day with my best friend, Meghan, and many other sweet people who bless me daily. I worked Kingdom Kids, then went to church, then went hiking (for Meghan's birthday), then went to Bible study at the Stewarts, and now that I am at home, about to go to bed, I just need to reflect on how God is moving in me.
My life is not perfect. I do not have riches or monetary security. I do not have a husband or the prospect of children. I do not have notoriety among my peers or an important job. I am not in a degree program that I love. I don't even seem to be moving toward any of these things. I don't look like much to the world, but there is something rich and sweet about my daily life.
I am single, and God is my constant companion. I am weak, but he makes me strong. I am poor, but he supplies all my needs. I am without long term direction in life, but he shows me the steps I need to take to serve Him each day.
And when I fall, he catches me. He listens and comforts me on the nights that I cry myself to sleep. (Thank goodness those nights are rare now). But when need be, He bandages my heart up, and sends me out to accomplish His next task. His yoke is easy. And my heart is light when I cast all my cares upon Him. Nothing else matters.
My sole responsibility is keeping my connection to Jesus Christ solid and secure.
Sometimes I pull away and forget this responsibility, but He is alway there to welcome me back when I come home.
And when I seek Him first, He adds wonderful things to my life. (Like an internship at church, and an incredible church family, and sweet, beautiful friends, and the ability to experience His perfect creation, and a surrogate family away from home... and countless other things.) No, I don't have the things my heart desires (as listed above) but He knows what I NEED, and He gives me things that are better than my desires. He has given me more than I could ask for or imagine... and it just boggles my mind that my life (which is so different than I've always dreamed it would be by the time I reached this age) is so full of love and joy and goodness. My way is not the best way. This I know to be true.
Jesus, Jesus, can I tell you how I feel? You have given me your spirit. I love you so!
Father, thank you for giving me what I need, instead of what my selfish heart desires. Thank you for your sacrifice, and your grace. Thank you for the fleas of life.
With love, joy, and peace,
~Christy
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