The Plan!

Today, my thoughts are a little jumbled...

Bonus Picture: My friends and me after my favorite treat, the sno cone!

The response to my post yesterday was pretty incredible. People told me that they identified with me, were inspired by me, and offered specific helps on my journey. While I appreciate (and plan to take people up on) these offers, I must admit they make this journey a little more real than I’d like it to be on day two.

I have support, which means I have people to disappoint. If I fail, I have a long way to fall, and I’d hate to let down all the people who are “inspired.”

That being said, I am glad to have this issue. I need to understand that my worth is in Christ, and nowhere else. If I fall, He will pick me up. If I embarrass myself or feel like I’ve disappointed my friends, He will just have to help me deal with the shame and help me keep trekking.

Thank you all for your kindness and encouragement. I am glad you are on this journey with me.

As promised, I have to publish “The Plan!”

But I don’t know it all yet. I guess I may never know the plan, because this plan has to be flexible.

In the past, I was legalistic about my food intake, whilst doing WeightWatchers. For those of you who don’t know, WeightWatchers gives every food a point value. You supply the company with some information about your weight, age, gender, etc., and they tell you how many points you may eat in a day. There are also extra points for special treats during the week. 

In the past, I never ate the extra points. I never ate the points I earned from doing activity and going to the gym. I never really let myself have a break in any way, shape, or form. But if this is going to be a lifestyle change, that has to be the first change I make.

This journey has to be about grace.

I have to accept grace from God and from my friends who are supporting me, and extend it to myself. Legalism is not part of this journey.

So, please, leave the judgment at home, ok?

If we are out to eat together, ask me if I would like to share the queso dip, or if I want a cookie, or if I want a Dr. Pepper... you get the picture. Then let me decide how many points I have, and if I want to spend them on the dip, or not.

These are two of my trigger foods, but I need to learn how to deal with, and not just avoid them. So offer them to me!

The goal isn’t to trade one idol (the instant gratification of food) in for another (legalistic control).

So, by all means, invite me places, and offer me food. Just, please, respect my “yes” or “no.”

Similarly, if we are meeting for lunch, I might bring a sack lunch into a restaurant. I know, I know… craziness! Right? In the past, I know that taking the food out of social events has been hard for EVERYONE involved. When one person doesn’t eat, everyone suddenly gets self-conscious about what they are eating. But right now, I just need for you to know that I want to hang out with YOU. Not your food. I don’t care about what is on your plate, but I must be careful with what is on mine. Ok?

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest… 

here is what I know about the plan.

• ·      It has to be based around prayer and scripture.
• ·      It has to be flexible.
• ·      It has to have an accountability system.
• ·      It has to involve the indoor, air-conditioned gym.
• ·      It will involve WeightWatchers
• ·      It will not involve legalism.

Prayer:

My wonderful roommate told me about one of her friends who is having people pray for a specific ten pounds of her weight loss. I would like to do this as well.

• ·      I weigh 219.4 lbs.
• ·      I want to weigh 135 lbs.
• ·      That is 122 lbs. total from my all time high, and 84.4 lbs. less than I weigh now.
• ·      That means I need 8 people to commit to pray for 10 lbs. each, and I person to pray for those pesky last 4.4 lbs. The last few are always the hardest to conquer! If you would like to pray for ten pounds, let me know.
• ·      I also need people to pray about topical things while I am on this journey. These people I will contact specifically and ask them to pray for things that I may not feel 100% comfortable divulging in public.

I also just need daily, hourly, minutely prayer. Nights are the hardest. Social settings can be torture. If anyone wants to be an on-call accountability texter, let me know.

I am committing to pray daily and intentionally about my struggle, I will also read my Bible daily and try to replace the lies I tell myself with Biblical truths. I will also fast on Mondays during lunch with the wonderful people at Fastpray

This blog is devoted “to fast and pray on Mondays during lunch for 1) men to come to know the Lord and to lead relationships, 2) for women to see where they need to change and to change, and 3) for the gift of marriage to be given to those who desire it.”

My struggle with my body relates to all three of the things this group prays for, and so I want to join them. If anyone wishes to do the same, let me know and we can support each other.

I am also committing to stop and pray when anxiety, or stress, or hurt, or fear, or whatever else sets into my heart, and Starbucks looks more promising than Jesus.

My battle isn’t with food. It is spiritual. I’ve conquered food before. Remember? 

But my adulterous heart is another matter. 

Please partner with me in prayer as I seek Jesus in this area of my life.

I want to want him more than anything else. Unfortunately, that is just not my default mode.

Flexibility:

I’ll say it again. This journey is about Grace. If I don’t get to 135 lbs., but 145 is looking and feeling great, that is ok. If I fall off the bandwagon and disappear for a few weeks, that has to be ok too. I’m slaying sin, here, and failure has to be ok at some point. The trick will be learning to get back on the horse and accept Grace. I don’t know how to do this, so perhaps this is an area to specifically pray for. Pray that I will learn to accept God’s love for me and accept the grace He has given. Pray that I will be as kind to myself as I can be to others in similar situations.

Accountability:

Right now, I am seeing this happening on a few different levels.

1.     This blog will keep me accountable and vulnerable in relationships as a whole. I will post at least one update every week, on Wednesday. This is the day I will weigh in, and I will report that weight along with any important happenings of the Week.

a.     Other occasional blog posts may appear as needed.

b.     Topical posts will be a part of the first few weeks of this process as I continue to purge my heart in attempts to be vulnerable and authentic.

2.     The friends that I ask to pray about specific, topical issues in my life will also be charged with keeping me accountable in regards to that specific issue.

3.     I am asking a handful of close friends in Macon to sit down with me weekly and make me TALK about my feelings. Writing is easier than talking, but I need to do both.

WeightWatchers and Gym:

I will weigh in ONLY once a week, on Wednesday. I am toying with the idea of doing WeightWatchers online and weighing in at home, but I will track my points daily and report my weight once a week via blog.

The gym will be a 5 or 6 day a week venture. I will engage in the following activities at the gym:

• Running on the elliptical
• Weight training (on a rotating schedule = not a total body every other day type of thing).
• Running on the treadmill in preparation for a 5k in 2013.
• More specifics to come.

One day, I'll be as excited about running as #28 is. Maybe. ;)

Other:

I don't know how well I would do with people going to the gym with me. That probably would not be a help. But I would love to do hiking, or walking, or geocaching on the weekends with people. If this interest you, let's set something up pronto. 

Your "to do" list:

• Email or call me or text me if you are interested in having a specific part in my journey. 
• harris_christy1@columbusstate.edu
• christyharris@trinitylifechurchga.com
• not going to put my number on here, but you can email me if you want it. 
• Pray continually
• Let me know if you are struggling with something that I am struggling with. I'd love to start a prayer list for people who are dealing with some of the same issues. I think Wednesdays will be my set day for this (when I want to be obsessed with my number on the scale, it will be better for me to pray for all of you). I'd love to hear what you are struggling with, so I know how to pray for you. 
• Subscribe to my blog so that you know what's up. 

Thanks again for going on this journey with me. I appreciate you all, and I pray that this will be a meaningful experience for all of us as we seek to slay a little of the sin in the world. 

Love and blessings, 

Christy